Heartwarming or Creepy, You Decide (note: there's only one right answer)

And here I thought you had to drive your Humvee over something unpleasant to end up a "flat soldier." Guess I was wrong.

"Where's Flat Daddy?"

[shiver] Hopefully nowhere the fuck near me. This is giving me flashbacks to when, as a kid too young to even know who KISS were, I inherited a huge cardboard cutout of the band. I don't know how many consecutive nights it took of these rock 'n roll heroes scaring the living piss out of me before they were ejected from my room, but I'll tell you it wasn't many. Easily countable on one hand. Or perhaps even on one torso (for the more corrugated among us).