Coming soon to a metro stop near you
Even in the wacky world of monotheism, Jews For Jesus stand out. Expect to see them out in force around the city next week.
Some of the responses to the forthcoming wave of evangelism, as reported in the above piece (from the distinguished Washington Times [motto: Pravda for Patriots]), are themselves amusing. "Jews for Jesus uses what we consider deceptive practices: Jewish garb and symbols to attract Jews into a different religion," says Rabbi David Bernstein, director of the Washington office of the American Jewish Committee. Now, is it just me, or do you think it might take more than a good costume to convert a person of established faith? Consider:
Jew for Jesus: You there! Hebrew! See this star on my necklace? Does it look... familiar?
Regular Jew: Of course. That's the Star of David. I'm wearing one too.
Jew for Jesus: Ah, yes, but does it remind you of anything? Or... of anyONE?
Regular Jew: Well, yeah. It reminds me of my family, especially my grandparents, and I guess my rabbi and my old fourth grade teacher who was Jewish...
Jew for Jesus: But does it make you think of, perhaps, oh, I don't know... a man? A man named... JESUS!
Regular Jew: [eyes glaze over, muscles go slack] Yes... of course... Jesus. Who...is...not...only...a Jew...himself...but is also...my....
Jew for Jesus: [triumphant, foaming] SAVIOR! YOUR SAVIOR! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!!! YOUR MUST WORSHIP YOUR SAVIOR!!
Regular Jew: [regaining composure, fully converted] It all makes perfect sense, really. I couldn't help but be sucked into this conversation with you, what with--
Jew for Jesus: What with my authentic Star of, uh... what with this necklace.
Regular Jew: Yes. And you made such a deep spiritual connection with me by, for instance, addressing me as "Hebrew."
Evangelical Apprentice Jew for Jesus: Wow, Mr. Kensington-Smith, you didn't even have to use the dreidel on that one! How many more years of Conversion School do I have before I can be a high priest of re-Jew-venation just like you?
Jew for Jesus: Oy, always the questions with you. Ah, excuse me sir! Sir? Do you by any chance enjoy the works of the young author Anne Frank? Of course you do...
Some of the responses to the forthcoming wave of evangelism, as reported in the above piece (from the distinguished Washington Times [motto: Pravda for Patriots]), are themselves amusing. "Jews for Jesus uses what we consider deceptive practices: Jewish garb and symbols to attract Jews into a different religion," says Rabbi David Bernstein, director of the Washington office of the American Jewish Committee. Now, is it just me, or do you think it might take more than a good costume to convert a person of established faith? Consider:
Jew for Jesus: You there! Hebrew! See this star on my necklace? Does it look... familiar?
Regular Jew: Of course. That's the Star of David. I'm wearing one too.
Jew for Jesus: Ah, yes, but does it remind you of anything? Or... of anyONE?
Regular Jew: Well, yeah. It reminds me of my family, especially my grandparents, and I guess my rabbi and my old fourth grade teacher who was Jewish...
Jew for Jesus: But does it make you think of, perhaps, oh, I don't know... a man? A man named... JESUS!
Regular Jew: [eyes glaze over, muscles go slack] Yes... of course... Jesus. Who...is...not...only...a Jew...himself...but is also...my....
Jew for Jesus: [triumphant, foaming] SAVIOR! YOUR SAVIOR! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!!! YOUR MUST WORSHIP YOUR SAVIOR!!
Regular Jew: [regaining composure, fully converted] It all makes perfect sense, really. I couldn't help but be sucked into this conversation with you, what with--
Jew for Jesus: What with my authentic Star of, uh... what with this necklace.
Regular Jew: Yes. And you made such a deep spiritual connection with me by, for instance, addressing me as "Hebrew."
Evangelical Apprentice Jew for Jesus: Wow, Mr. Kensington-Smith, you didn't even have to use the dreidel on that one! How many more years of Conversion School do I have before I can be a high priest of re-Jew-venation just like you?
Jew for Jesus: Oy, always the questions with you. Ah, excuse me sir! Sir? Do you by any chance enjoy the works of the young author Anne Frank? Of course you do...
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