Life is Beautiful

This morning I was fortunate enough to receive an email featuring the subject line "jerk off to real soulmate."

And it made me think, finally, an ad that's not trying to sell me cheap sex or "performance enhancing" drugs! An ad that acknowledges my sensitive side, my spiritual needs. Jerking off to just anyone always leaves me feeling empty. But a soulmate? That's deep. There's a connection there. A human connection.

I admire couples who have a good meeting story. Well, I think I just found one for myself.

"How did we meet? Well, I know it sounds so sappy when I tell it, but it really was amazing. One day, out of the blue, I get this email at work. Next thing you know, we've rendezvoused at her place and I'm firing up the ol' 'simulated flight program' if you know what I mean. We hit it off immediately. Or, at least I did. Oh, I admit we don't talk much. And she's never actually touched me (there's only room enough for one sheriff in this town, haha!). But the way she'll sit there for minutes on end, clipping coupons or watching Oprah while I stimulate my spiritual side...it's just magical. And she has never yelled at me about the carpet. Not once. I couldn't possibly have asked for more in a detached object of voyeuristic desire. Soulmates - that's what we are."